The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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