I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
