even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
