I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
