My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Drunk is not a location!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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