real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
