sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
