She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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