They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
