Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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