So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Found the puke drawer
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
