What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
