So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
