You can't special order awesome
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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