True but thats because hes a fetus.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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