Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
