Can Purell be used as lube?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
