...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
