She is in my trunk
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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