ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
