9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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