you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
