you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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