How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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