Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
