I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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