I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
