He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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