just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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