This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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