The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
