I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
