someone get that fucking seahorse.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
