You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
