Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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