I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Randomize
