We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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