some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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