Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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