just tell him i said nine months
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
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