:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
being pregnant is like rehab
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
