I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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