I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Never underestimate the power of titties
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
