Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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