i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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