that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
