You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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