I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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