I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
