dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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