Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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